OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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