Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Reggie can tackle my bush.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
