Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
