You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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