She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
