is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
