All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
