Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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