Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Come on in and take your pants off
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