one two three fourrrrnication!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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