ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
