so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
