I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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