At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
