he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
