i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Are we still banned from the library?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
