if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
