I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
