you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
