Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
