And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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