her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
