I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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