And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
