I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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