I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
