You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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