The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
