I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
