Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
