I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
