I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
