U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
