She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
