Yo dont text me then not text me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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