shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
