nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
