I only kidnapped one of them. chill
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
