Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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