Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize