I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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