even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
