We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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