actually, I'm a sock model
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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