if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
