.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
