Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
