I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
