that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
