You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
