Me. At least after what I've been through.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
