I'm sorry my penis didn't work
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
