It's Friday. Sex?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize