what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
