on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
