just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
